MY THOUGHTS ON ‘THE SESSIONS’ OR, HELPING YOU TO SAVE YOUR MONEY EVERY CHANCE I GET

‘The Sessions’ is the kind of movie I no longer have patience for. It’s the quintessential feel-good indie movie. It’s loaded with every Sundance cliché in the book. The problem is that it’s really just standard Hollywood fare. It’s a formula just as ‘Total Recall’ is a formula or ‘Transformers 2′ is a formula, it’s just the indie formula. John Hawkes plays a guy in an iron lung. He’s in his late thirties and has never had sex. He’s horny, I get it. Oh, and he’s also religious. But don’t worry, his priest is played by a long-haired William H Macy, who gives him a pass to sleep with a sex-surrogate (he’s so cool!). Everyone talks about how sex-positive the movie is. I’m not sure what that all means, but it sounds good. My problem is not with the storyline, it’s with the hackneyed script.

When I told a couple friends that I walked out of a screening of ‘The Sessions’ after only 30 minutes, the reaction was universal, “But, I like John Hawkes.” Well, so do I. John Hawkes isn’t the problem. The sappy, melodramatic structure of the screenplay and the hideous swelling music (enter emotion!) is the problem. The script is peppered with too many corny jokes that play out with all the subtle charm of a sitcom. It’s trying too hard to be a comedy and to be light and feel-good. Just tell the story. We’re adults and can handle darkness.

If you want to see a brilliant film about a man in an iron lung and his struggles, watch ‘The Diving Bell And The Butterfly’. People would say that they are two very different films and they would be right. One is good and the other is bad.

And that’s after only 30 minutes of the movie, guys. You know when a film is working and when it isn’t. Usually in the first 10 minutes. Save your money. Besides, the studio doesn’t really need it, John Hawkes will be nominated for an Oscar. The average age in the Academy is 102 and they just love warm, sappy melodrama. Just ask Steven Spielberg.