If there’s one thing I love, it’s a broad that knows how to milk a dick. ‘Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People’ came out way back in 1845, but that doesn’t stop Amy Sedaris from still hawking it every chance she gets. She knows what pays the bills. And besides, if it means I get to see her fabulous face on network television, I’m all for it.

Amy shows the audience how to make her famous ‘Crafty Candle Salad’. It involves some pineapple rings, a banana, and some mayonnaise. Of course, all these sexually suggestive ingredients make Jimmy a little nervous. He giggles like a school girl as his banana limps over like a cut daisy wilting in the sun. Amy isn’t impressed, but still, she tries to comfort him (haven’t we all been there?). That’s when we get the golden nugget: Amy actually gets a “whiskey dick” past the NBC censors. Or maybe I’m just old school? Can you say ‘whiskey dick’ on tv nowadays?

A vintage clip of Amy and Todd Oldham doing découpage, after the jump.