The last thing I need is some organization headed by a bunch of people I don’t know telling me what people should and shouldn’t say. I’m a grown ass man. I know, I know it’s for the kids. Everything always is, they’re are future after all.

In case you haven’t heard, rapper Azealia Banks got into a Twitter fight with Queen of the Bloggers, Perez Hilton. It got pretty nasty and she ended up calling him “a messy faggot”. Except when GLAAD recounts the story, they type it like this: ‘messy fa**ot’. I think that’s for the kids too. Because if you replace two letters with asterisks, the youngin’s will be be totally oblivious to what your saying! It’s true. When I was a kid, I thought Q*bert had his own language. Little did I know he was basically just saying, “motherfucker!” whenever he got bit by one of those purple snakes. Thanks to Atari for saving my childhood. Apparently, they’ve passed the baton over to GLAAD.

This reminds me of the recent Samuel L. Jackson interview where a lily-white interviewer asks Jackson about “the n word”. Well, I called up Jackson for a kiss, because he wasn’t having it—he made that silly reporter squirm. He basically wanted his milquetoast ass to have the balls to say ‘nigger’ to his face, otherwise shut the fuck up about the whole made-up ‘Django Unchained’ ‘controversy’.

Wasn’t it just a few months ago when we had to listen to Kelly Osbourne tell us that we can’t say ‘tranny’? Thankfully, we have the lovely Rupaul to set the bitch straight, with a ‘uh-uh, honey, Daddy’s gonna say ‘tranny’ all he wants’ retort. Crickets from Kelly’s camp. Amen.

For me, it all goes back to intention. Is openly bisexual Azealia Banks a homophobe? Of course not. When you want to insult someone—if you know what you’re doing—you gotta go right for the jugular. If any bullied kids ever need tips on a comeback, they needn’t look any further than their most immediate gay. We learned how to burn a bitch early on. GLAAD is working hard to take this away from us—how dare they!

In closing, I’d like to say a little prayer on behalf of internet bloggers everywhere, without whom, our media world would be full of homogenized, overly-controlled zombies who take the shape of humans, but with no emotion, character flaws, or style.

“May you use your rushed, Google-Keyword-friendly-posts laden with Top 10 lists, Lady Gaga mentions, spelling erors and incoherent grammar to save the world from corporate, Oprah-ized political correctness wrapped up in a do-gooder bow. Oh, and fuck GLAAD too.”