Serious journalists’ Cynthia McFadden and Barbara Walters are continuing their fight for hard news by eating Mariah Carey’s pussy right out on national television. You see, Queen of the Dolphin’s Nightmares, Mariah Carey has a new stint on American Idol as a judge, so they’re pulling no punches in exploiting the recent kerfuffle between her and fellow AI judge Nicki Minaj.

In fact, Barbara Walters actually describes their interview as “no HOLES barred”. Now, I know that movie, but I had no idea Barbara was fully versed in her gay porn classics. Consider me schooled. (FYI, ‘No Holes Barred 2′ is sooo much better.)

Basically, Mariah ‘s last song was such a disaster, she got ABC News to start peddling lies for her (to make us all believe the magic). They mention how Mariah has sold “over 200 million” records and then make the claim that she’s the most successful female recording artist ever. Don’t play games with this bitch, Barbara. We all know Madonna has sold over 300 million records and holds the title and is in the good book of Guinness for doing so. Hell hath no fury like a Maddy fan scorned.

Also, in the interview Mariah can barely contain her contempt for Nicki Minaj (an artist who actually still sells records and has buzz). You can see Ms. Carey seething just under the surface as she tries to demean Minaj by referring to her just a rapper. But don’t worry, ABC News has given us plenty of dolphin calls peppered throughout the Pulitzer Prize-ready piece. Barbara’s living up to her pioneering female journalist standards, don’t you think?

The clip is after the jump, if you are so inclined.

Mariah Carey, “classy & classic”: