Have you ordered your copy yet? Well, why the hell not? This is something that only comes along once in a generation. It’s a real, honest-to-goodness Coffee Table Book. With a capital C!

For all you kids out there, that means a few things. First, it was designed by an actual designer! That means someone who knows all about design things. They know about kerning, trapping, and how to pronounce the word ‘leading’. They didn’t just have mommy buy them a Mac and say, ‘go have at it’. It also means that this book is big, it’s heavy, and it comes in its own custom-made box. Need more? It includes 290 never-before-seen photographs of celebrities you know, love, laugh at, and hate! OMG! Never-before-seen photographs in the age of the internet! Excuse me? Yes, and they’re printed on paper. These aren’t low-res photographs you can look at on just any old dirty blog! They were shot by REAL photographers, Idris Rheubottom and Tony Craig! See, now you’re jealous! But don’t be, order it on Amazon so you can have your very own copy!

OMG. You were too late. It’s already sold out. God. I’m so annoyed with you. I thought we were friends. Ooh, wait. I’ve just been told, Amazon will order more copies! Lucky you!! Go to Amazon now and put your name in—they’ll send it to you as soon as it comes in. God, I love you. (say it like Annie Wilkes in ‘Misery’ just before she breaks Paul’s ankles with the sledgehammer).